Back To the Dr.!

About a week ago, Chris and I headed back to Knoxville to get the semen analysis done to see if the meds were working. Everything seemed to go ok this time. But then yesterday I got the results! Not good!! The semen analysis is worse now than it was 2 and 1/2 years ago. The receptionist muttered the results to me, and at the end said IVF is still recommended (keep in mind that this our old dr. not the dr in Cincinnati).
For those of you that may not know what IVF is, it is a procedure where they would take Chris sperm and inject it directly into the egg. It is a very costly procedure- that cost up to $30,000! It's not guaranteed and there is a risk you will lose all of your money. Maybe one day that will be God's plan for us, but not for now!
I had promised God that no matter what the results, I would still have faith, and I do, but, talk about disheartened!I am at the bottom and have no where to turn but to the Almighty God who can heal anybody! We thought for sure that this would be IT.....the answer. We have done everything the dr. has told us to do. So I cried and cried....and cried. Sometimes I feel worthless and sometimes, I even feel like I am doing something wrong in the Lord's eyes.
I believe when you are going through trials, you desire to be around Christians. I called my BFF, who God gave to me because she has went through infertility too. Her mom told me she was going to pray for me and I felt her prayers, which made me feel better.
Dr. Russell (from Cincinnati) called today to go over the results. He said that he has never seen the medicine cause a decline. His theory is 1. The test was a "bad" test. 2. There are other medical problems (that I will not go into detail about at this time). So, he said we should keep our fingers crossed and do more tests in about 6 weeks.
God will give us a child! I want Him to have all the glory. Everyone will see what the Lord has given us....and they will see that God keeps his promises.
As for me, I will not keep my fingers crossed, but I will pray to God for the next 6 weeks for this to be a "bad test." I will pray for Him to heal Chris' body and to give us a beautiful baby. Please, join us in prayer. :)
"And her neighbors and cousins heard how the Lord had shewd great mercy upon her, and they rejoiced with her." Luke 1:58

The Drs. Appt

Last night, Chris and I went to Knoxville because Chris had to be at the dr. by 7:30. We drove through some terrible storms, dodged fallen debris on the interstate, and didn't get much sleep because the mattress was as hard as a rock. We had a terrible time, but I was still praising God, because we had transportation to get there, we were not in any accidents, we had money for the dr. and the hotel room (eventhough it was a Red Roof Inn, nothing fancy). But, things didn't turn out the way I wanted today. I can't go into much detail but the test (that has to be done to see if his medicine is working) has been postponed for another week or two. That means more time traveling, more money spent, and more anxiety. I feel bad because I became upset. I just wanted one thing to go my way!!! One piece of good news! But, I know, I should try not to let my emotions get the best of me. It only makes things worse. Chris is a great husband and will be a great dad one day. I don't want to make him feel guilty or sad. I don't need test results to tell me things will be ok....God can do that! "Praise God even when the Devil is working on you." Matthew 19:25But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With Men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Putting the Pieces Together.

I have already started to get the butterfly feeling.... Chris has an appt. this coming week, in Knoxville, to see if the meds are working. Please pray that they are!!! Our dr.is in Cincinnati, but he was kind enough to allow us to do some test in Knoxville (so we'd be closer to home). I was thinking, today, about how God's plan is so perfect, it all fits together like puzzle pieces. Before I even knew what our fertility issues were, I prayed for God to lead us in the right direction. First I felt like I should go to a regular OBGYN, so I did. It was there, that we learned that Chris needed to see a dr. She recommended the dr. (we are now seeing in Cincinnati). I prayed more and was lead to a fertility specialist (in Knoxville). It was there, that we spent lots of money and had lots of heartache. We did 4 rounds of IUIs (inseminations that are done to get "it" closer to the egg.) Each time, we were expecting to get good news, but we never did. I questioned God a lot during this time. Why would He lead me to this place? This Dr? Why would he intend on us spending this much money? I kept telling my bff that I felt like God was leading me here, but didn't know why. But, you see, its part of the puzzle! Part of his plan! This was part of our trial, our journey. And oh, how much He has taught me along the way!! Now, we are seeing a Male Reproductive Specialist/Uriologist in Cincinnati, but Chris is able to have his test done in Knoxville (with our old dr.). So, you see, God had a plan all along. He lead me to these drs, and they are all playing a part in our journey. I wouldn't change a thing!!! "Truely I have spoken, truely I will bring it to pass. I have planned it. surely I will do it!"Isaiah 46:3-11