Yesterday's Mail....From:????

So yesterday, I opened the mailbox, and to my surprise there was a card. A Congratulations on Your Baby card!?!?! The outside of the card said, "Misty, Congratulations on the Birth of Your Baby!" The inside was a description of a Mother. My first thought was, "Who could be this cruel?" (the card said it was from area businesses). "The Devil sure knows how to get you when you are down!" But then I calmed down a bit, and a sense of peace filled my body. I remembered what a Pastor said the other day.... "When the Devil is out to get you, praise God. This lets the Devil know that his game is not working!" I took the card in and showed it to Chris. He threatened to call the place it was from. But I refused to let him. I said, "I am going to put this up so that it can remind us of whats to come!" Corithians 5:7 "We live by faith, not by sight."

God soothes our broken heart!

Don't have a lot on my mind today... Just thinking about some things I heard from Preacher David Jerimiah. During our weakest moments, God soothes our heart and lets us know that things are going to be ok.
I know this to be true. I remember one of those days He did this for me. The one that sticks clearly in my mind. It was a day when I felt like my heart had been torn out. I had just started my period, and didn't see anything positive in sight.
I was driving up our drive, and I couldn't take any more. There, in my car, like I have many times, I poured my heart out to Jesus. I was so desperate for comfort, and I just begged Him to help me.
Then, a sense of calmness came over me. I knew everything was going to be ok. I knew that He had heard me, and He was there helping me.

Psalms 147:3 He healeth the broken hearted, and bindeth up their wounds.

God Doesn't Get In Any Hurry!

I can be the first to tell you, God doesn't get into any hurry. I have pleaded with God and I have tried to compromise with Him. IDid He hear me? Yes! Have I gotten pregnant again? No. Will I? Sure.
See, I have learned that this is something that I don't have any control over. God has perfect timing. He doesn't get into any hurry, because He knows when "it" fits into His perfect plan. His perfect plan is just that, perfect. It all fits together for us. God doesn't do anything to hurt us. He knows best.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Be still!

Well, I have been trying to decide if I should take another round of clomid. I stink at making decisions, and I HATE clomid. The side effects are horrible for me, and I do ovulate on my own. So I thought and prayed about it. And this Bible verse came to me, "Be still and know that I am God." So I have decided to do just that. If i'ts God's will for me to be pregnant, I will be pregnant with or without the clomid.



"But Jesus beheld (them) and said unto them, with men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Be Thankful!

I was looking at facebook a few minutes ago and realized that ALL of my friends have babies. I started feeling down in the dumps.. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, and I feel like most of them are great mothers! I started feeling sorry for myself.. "They have their busy lives and schedules that are based around their kids. They have playdates, birthday parties, and chats with other mothers."
But then another thought popped into my head.....something my cousin said. "God answers prayers daily, we just have to give him thanks when he does." That is so true.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am going to be thankful for all the answered prayers in my life. I am thankful that I have had another day to spend with my loved ones, I am glad that I have friends, I am glad God chose to let me have another breath of air, and I am glad that God is my Savior!
We should even be thankful for the unanssered prayers in our lives. God knows what He is doing. He has the perfect plan, and He answers these prayers in His time!

Psalms 118:24 This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Trying to Keep The Faith

As humans, sometimes our faith is so strong and other times, it is sooo low. This week has been a mixture of both for me. I KNOW God will answer his prayer for us. He has the perfect plan. But, as I look around, and see so many people that I know having babies, I can't keep from wondering, "Why not me?" The devil really knows how to get to us.
This storm of infertility has made me, at times, feel broken hearted, scared, and sometimes, less of a human being.
However, the Good Lord above has helped me through these emotions. And I wouldn't change a thing (even though I am ready Lord for this to come to an end). :)
I was listening to a pastor on the radio the other day (Dr. Jeremiah I believe) and he said something that has weighed on my heart, "It's through the storms in life that we get to know God better." This is sooo true!
Sad to say, but I had not really read any of the bible until I was faced with this storm. Oh, how I have needed God through this!!!! I know I will always have a comforter in God All Mighty! He will see me through!!!! I have to keep faith!!!!
And by the way, I started my menstrual cycle today, so we will be getting that semen analysis in a couple of weeks. God will provide the lab, the money, and the good results. ;)

Romans 17:20-21: If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain 'move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.

What Happened After the Miscarriage? (Our Story Continued)

For those of you that want to know what we did after the miscarriage... well, we've been through a lot. But God has gotten us this far!
About 8 months after the miscarriage, I realized there was a problem (in more ways than 1). I prayed about it, and God led me to a local gynecologist group. The NP gave me a few months of clomid, and also ordered a sperm analysis for my husband. The results of the sperm analysis showed that my husband had a very low sperm count (1 million). The NP gave me a number of a male fertility specialist 4 hours from where we live (the closest one). For some reason or another, we chose not pursue this road at that time. Instead, we turned to a female RE, that had helped my friend. She was located about two hours away from where we live. She put me and my husband both on clomid, and did several IUI's, which all failed. She suggested I do a laprascopy. I did, and it turned out ok. I remember the last time she called me. She told me that she was releasing me as a patient, and that we probably needed to think of IVF. Those words were harsh,and the Devil sure knew how to pounce on that. If she couldn't help us, who could? I am not going to lie, I was down, to one of the lowest points in my life. But, I called out to God and I asked for comfort. I soon realized, she didn't have to help us. God is the greatest physician, He would help us! I remember sitting at church one Sunday (I had started my period that morning) and I was an emotional wreck. I was sitting in the seat crying, and I had begged God to help me. My pastor got up to preach, and as he opened up, he started talking about Sarah from the bible, and it was that day, God told me I would have a baby.
After that, we really didn't do much as far as fertility went (except we continued our ovulation predictor kits), and of course I have prayed every single day about it.
Then about 3 months ago, I felt like God wanted us to do something else. I prayed and prayed about it, and I felt like God was leading us to the male fertility specialist that I originally had learned about. Even though, he was 4 hours away, I felt like this is where God wanted us to be. I called his office,and the dr. called me back (which doesn't happen very often). I told him our situation, and about how much money we had been out. My insurance didn't pay for the iuis, only part of the laparoscopy,and then made me back up and pay back for bloodwork,and other procedures because they said it was "fertility" procedures. The dr. agreed to do most of the work over the phone. He mailed us orders to get Chris bloodwork retested. We found out that he had very low testosterone.
We went for the first drs visit in Cincinnati, OH. Dr. Russell was very nice and knowledgable. He agreed that Chris needed clomid, but probably at a higher dose. He ordered 25 mg. a day, a bloodtest to see if it was working 4 weeks after, and another sperm analysis at 10 weeks.
4 weeks later Chris had his bloodwork retestested. His testosterone ad doubled!!! He won't have his semen analysis for two more weeks (pending if I am pregnant).
Did you know that sperm have a 10 week cycle?? What you do today, will effect sperm in 10 weeks (Just thought I would throw that in there).
Over the last (almost) three years, I have become so much closer to God. I am sooooo much more ready now to have a baby than I was three years ago. Yes, I would have made it then, but I think I will have a deeper appreciation for my baby, for my husband, and for My Heavenly Father! I have to keep reminding myself that God will keep his promise and He is always on time!

Romans 17:20-21: He staggered not at the promises of God through unbelief: but was strong in faith, giving glory to God: And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was also able to perform.

Our Story!

This is my first blog post so please be patient with me. First, I will tell you a little about myself and my situation. When I was 18 I married Chris. Did I need to marry at 18? NO!!! But I am glad I did! Chris is a great husband and I know he will one day make a better daddy.
For the first 9 years of our marriage, I knew we were not at all ready for kids. I had it all planned! At 28, I would have my first (and only) child. Well, 28 came and went, and I actually got pregnant. We had only tried to get pregnant for a few months. It was all a little ironic actually....my sister had called me three weeks earlier to tell me she was pregnant, then two weeks after that, my sister-in-law called to tell me she was pregnant, and then me, I was pregnant too! How great, all three of us at the same time! In my head, I imagined us taking our kids to the park, at Christmas they could all open presents together, and we could have their birthday parties together! These thoughts came to a halt, when I woke up bleeding on November 3rd. I knew I was having a miscarriage. I went to the emergency room, where they confirmed it, only the Dr. put "Spontaneous Abortion." I knew this was another name for miscarriage, but it just sounded so horrible, like I had done something wrong, like I had aborted my baby somehow.
I will never forget that day. I remember seeing Chris drop his head and cry and the sadness on his face. And that was the day I learned to lean on the good Lord and I have been leaning on Him ever since.
It has been almost three years since that day. I haven't gotten pregnant again, but I will. How do I know? Because God promised me, and He keeps EVERY promise that he makes!