Just a short follow up.... our dr. called this morning. Finally, a little bit of good news. Praise God! Chris' test showed that everything is pretty much in normal range.. still kind of low, but normal. That's good news, right?
The dr. told us that really there is no reason why we can't conceive with those test numbers. He suggested that I might want to go back to a fertility dr. that specializes in females. Another option, he said, was for us to do a few more rounds of IUIs (inseminations).
I have been checked from head to toe (or should I say from head to, well, I won't go there~lol)! Everything checks out with me. And for the inseminations, I just don't think I'm ready to do that again right now. Maybe in the future.
As for right now, I think I'm just gonna pray and hope that God gives us a miracle!!! Patience is a virtue.
Psalms 37:5 Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
I Give Up..... Or Do I??
In June, Chris went back to the dr. to see if the meds were working. In the meantime, while waiting on results, I started to get my hopes up, once again. I was convinced that I had already conceived. By my calculations, I was two days late. BUT, by the app on my phone, I was not late. Guess who was right? You guessed it, technology.I guess it is a smart phone :) Yet another disaappointment.
The drs asst. called and gave us the results of Chris' test ; some things are improving, some are not. I was (and am) disappointed. Why can't we get some kind of really good news, even if we don't conceive? A piece of good news would be helpful. The dr. is supposed to call us this coming Tuesday.
I over analyze things. I always have and always will. That's just me. Part of me wants to stop all of this; the drs. visits, the ovulation predictors, the tests, and most importantly the stress! But part of me thinks that would be giving up on God, and I am not going to do that. But when is enough, enough?
Then, I wonder if it is time to begin other routes such as IVF. But how do I know this is God's will for us? What if now is not when God wants us to have a baby? How would we get the money? And what if failed? I know a person shouldn't worry, that's why we have God.
God wouldn't let me go through all of this for nothing, would He? I just don't believe He would. I told Chris that God has spoken to me and told me that we would have a child. I have a bedroom full of hand me downs that shows I believe Him. Chris says, He doesn't know what God's plan is, and I shouldn't over analyze everything, and not having a baby right now, may be a blessing of some kind.
I want to keep faith, but sometimes I do get scared. I think about the baby names that we have picked out, that we may never get to use. I think about the room that Chris calls the "baby" room that may never have a baby sleep in it. I think about all of the traditions that I would love to start, and may never get to.
But with all of this..... I have to stand on the promises of God and keep telling myself that He keeps His promises.
Please keep praying for us, not only that God will give us a child, but that He will comfort us and let us make the right decisions, for us to follow the path He has chosen for us.
Hebrews 10:36 KJV: For ye have need for patience, that after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
The drs asst. called and gave us the results of Chris' test ; some things are improving, some are not. I was (and am) disappointed. Why can't we get some kind of really good news, even if we don't conceive? A piece of good news would be helpful. The dr. is supposed to call us this coming Tuesday.
I over analyze things. I always have and always will. That's just me. Part of me wants to stop all of this; the drs. visits, the ovulation predictors, the tests, and most importantly the stress! But part of me thinks that would be giving up on God, and I am not going to do that. But when is enough, enough?
Then, I wonder if it is time to begin other routes such as IVF. But how do I know this is God's will for us? What if now is not when God wants us to have a baby? How would we get the money? And what if failed? I know a person shouldn't worry, that's why we have God.
God wouldn't let me go through all of this for nothing, would He? I just don't believe He would. I told Chris that God has spoken to me and told me that we would have a child. I have a bedroom full of hand me downs that shows I believe Him. Chris says, He doesn't know what God's plan is, and I shouldn't over analyze everything, and not having a baby right now, may be a blessing of some kind.
I want to keep faith, but sometimes I do get scared. I think about the baby names that we have picked out, that we may never get to use. I think about the room that Chris calls the "baby" room that may never have a baby sleep in it. I think about all of the traditions that I would love to start, and may never get to.
But with all of this..... I have to stand on the promises of God and keep telling myself that He keeps His promises.
Please keep praying for us, not only that God will give us a child, but that He will comfort us and let us make the right decisions, for us to follow the path He has chosen for us.
Hebrews 10:36 KJV: For ye have need for patience, that after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Even Mud looks good!
Chris is my best friend and I love the nights where we lay in bed and think about our future. Its been almost 13 years, and I am in awe that we still do that. Of course we have our arguements, but the good definately out ways the bad!
You see, going through this "trial" of infertility has made me change (for the better of course). I have grown to love my husband so much more and I have matured so much over the past three years.
During these past three years, I have also grown to love Christ and have learned how to lean on Him. He is the same God in the valley as He is on the mountain.
I want Chris and I to have a child more than anything and I know Chris wants that too. The other night when we were having one of our conversatonions about the future, I asked Chris if he liked a certain baby name. I've probably asked him about a million names. However, this time, his response was a little different. He said, "Honey, I'd let you name it Mud, if we could just have a baby."
God will give us a baby, I know this. I should not question when, because He has the perfect plan for us!
So please keep praying for us, pray that if it's God will, we will soon have our Baby Mud! :)
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
You see, going through this "trial" of infertility has made me change (for the better of course). I have grown to love my husband so much more and I have matured so much over the past three years.
During these past three years, I have also grown to love Christ and have learned how to lean on Him. He is the same God in the valley as He is on the mountain.
I want Chris and I to have a child more than anything and I know Chris wants that too. The other night when we were having one of our conversatonions about the future, I asked Chris if he liked a certain baby name. I've probably asked him about a million names. However, this time, his response was a little different. He said, "Honey, I'd let you name it Mud, if we could just have a baby."
God will give us a baby, I know this. I should not question when, because He has the perfect plan for us!
So please keep praying for us, pray that if it's God will, we will soon have our Baby Mud! :)
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Back To the Dr.!
About a week ago, Chris and I headed back to Knoxville to get the semen analysis done to see if the meds were working. Everything seemed to go ok this time. But then yesterday I got the results! Not good!! The semen analysis is worse now than it was 2 and 1/2 years ago. The receptionist muttered the results to me, and at the end said IVF is still recommended (keep in mind that this our old dr. not the dr in Cincinnati).
For those of you that may not know what IVF is, it is a procedure where they would take Chris sperm and inject it directly into the egg. It is a very costly procedure- that cost up to $30,000! It's not guaranteed and there is a risk you will lose all of your money. Maybe one day that will be God's plan for us, but not for now!
I had promised God that no matter what the results, I would still have faith, and I do, but, talk about disheartened!I am at the bottom and have no where to turn but to the Almighty God who can heal anybody! We thought for sure that this would be IT.....the answer. We have done everything the dr. has told us to do. So I cried and cried....and cried. Sometimes I feel worthless and sometimes, I even feel like I am doing something wrong in the Lord's eyes.
I believe when you are going through trials, you desire to be around Christians. I called my BFF, who God gave to me because she has went through infertility too. Her mom told me she was going to pray for me and I felt her prayers, which made me feel better.
Dr. Russell (from Cincinnati) called today to go over the results. He said that he has never seen the medicine cause a decline. His theory is 1. The test was a "bad" test. 2. There are other medical problems (that I will not go into detail about at this time). So, he said we should keep our fingers crossed and do more tests in about 6 weeks.
God will give us a child! I want Him to have all the glory. Everyone will see what the Lord has given us....and they will see that God keeps his promises.
As for me, I will not keep my fingers crossed, but I will pray to God for the next 6 weeks for this to be a "bad test." I will pray for Him to heal Chris' body and to give us a beautiful baby. Please, join us in prayer. :)
"And her neighbors and cousins heard how the Lord had shewd great mercy upon her, and they rejoiced with her." Luke 1:58
For those of you that may not know what IVF is, it is a procedure where they would take Chris sperm and inject it directly into the egg. It is a very costly procedure- that cost up to $30,000! It's not guaranteed and there is a risk you will lose all of your money. Maybe one day that will be God's plan for us, but not for now!
I had promised God that no matter what the results, I would still have faith, and I do, but, talk about disheartened!I am at the bottom and have no where to turn but to the Almighty God who can heal anybody! We thought for sure that this would be IT.....the answer. We have done everything the dr. has told us to do. So I cried and cried....and cried. Sometimes I feel worthless and sometimes, I even feel like I am doing something wrong in the Lord's eyes.
I believe when you are going through trials, you desire to be around Christians. I called my BFF, who God gave to me because she has went through infertility too. Her mom told me she was going to pray for me and I felt her prayers, which made me feel better.
Dr. Russell (from Cincinnati) called today to go over the results. He said that he has never seen the medicine cause a decline. His theory is 1. The test was a "bad" test. 2. There are other medical problems (that I will not go into detail about at this time). So, he said we should keep our fingers crossed and do more tests in about 6 weeks.
God will give us a child! I want Him to have all the glory. Everyone will see what the Lord has given us....and they will see that God keeps his promises.
As for me, I will not keep my fingers crossed, but I will pray to God for the next 6 weeks for this to be a "bad test." I will pray for Him to heal Chris' body and to give us a beautiful baby. Please, join us in prayer. :)
"And her neighbors and cousins heard how the Lord had shewd great mercy upon her, and they rejoiced with her." Luke 1:58
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Drs. Appt
Last night, Chris and I went to Knoxville because Chris had to be at the dr. by 7:30. We drove through some terrible storms, dodged fallen debris on the interstate, and didn't get much sleep because the mattress was as hard as a rock. We had a terrible time, but I was still praising God, because we had transportation to get there, we were not in any accidents, we had money for the dr. and the hotel room (eventhough it was a Red Roof Inn, nothing fancy). But, things didn't turn out the way I wanted today. I can't go into much detail but the test (that has to be done to see if his medicine is working) has been postponed for another week or two. That means more time traveling, more money spent, and more anxiety. I feel bad because I became upset. I just wanted one thing to go my way!!! One piece of good news! But, I know, I should try not to let my emotions get the best of me. It only makes things worse. Chris is a great husband and will be a great dad one day. I don't want to make him feel guilty or sad. I don't need test results to tell me things will be ok....God can do that! "Praise God even when the Devil is working on you." Matthew 19:25But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With Men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Putting the Pieces Together.
I have already started to get the butterfly feeling.... Chris has an appt. this coming week, in Knoxville, to see if the meds are working. Please pray that they are!!! Our dr.is in Cincinnati, but he was kind enough to allow us to do some test in Knoxville (so we'd be closer to home). I was thinking, today, about how God's plan is so perfect, it all fits together like puzzle pieces. Before I even knew what our fertility issues were, I prayed for God to lead us in the right direction. First I felt like I should go to a regular OBGYN, so I did. It was there, that we learned that Chris needed to see a dr. She recommended the dr. (we are now seeing in Cincinnati). I prayed more and was lead to a fertility specialist (in Knoxville). It was there, that we spent lots of money and had lots of heartache. We did 4 rounds of IUIs (inseminations that are done to get "it" closer to the egg.) Each time, we were expecting to get good news, but we never did. I questioned God a lot during this time. Why would He lead me to this place? This Dr? Why would he intend on us spending this much money? I kept telling my bff that I felt like God was leading me here, but didn't know why. But, you see, its part of the puzzle! Part of his plan! This was part of our trial, our journey. And oh, how much He has taught me along the way!! Now, we are seeing a Male Reproductive Specialist/Uriologist in Cincinnati, but Chris is able to have his test done in Knoxville (with our old dr.). So, you see, God had a plan all along. He lead me to these drs, and they are all playing a part in our journey. I wouldn't change a thing!!! "Truely I have spoken, truely I will bring it to pass. I have planned it. surely I will do it!"Isaiah 46:3-11
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Yesterday's Mail....From:????
So yesterday, I opened the mailbox, and to my surprise there was a card. A Congratulations on Your Baby card!?!?! The outside of the card said, "Misty, Congratulations on the Birth of Your Baby!" The inside was a description of a Mother. My first thought was, "Who could be this cruel?" (the card said it was from area businesses). "The Devil sure knows how to get you when you are down!" But then I calmed down a bit, and a sense of peace filled my body. I remembered what a Pastor said the other day.... "When the Devil is out to get you, praise God. This lets the Devil know that his game is not working!" I took the card in and showed it to Chris. He threatened to call the place it was from. But I refused to let him. I said, "I am going to put this up so that it can remind us of whats to come!" Corithians 5:7 "We live by faith, not by sight."
Thursday, March 24, 2011
God soothes our broken heart!
Don't have a lot on my mind today... Just thinking about some things I heard from Preacher David Jerimiah. During our weakest moments, God soothes our heart and lets us know that things are going to be ok.
I know this to be true. I remember one of those days He did this for me. The one that sticks clearly in my mind. It was a day when I felt like my heart had been torn out. I had just started my period, and didn't see anything positive in sight.
I was driving up our drive, and I couldn't take any more. There, in my car, like I have many times, I poured my heart out to Jesus. I was so desperate for comfort, and I just begged Him to help me.
Then, a sense of calmness came over me. I knew everything was going to be ok. I knew that He had heard me, and He was there helping me.
Psalms 147:3 He healeth the broken hearted, and bindeth up their wounds.
I know this to be true. I remember one of those days He did this for me. The one that sticks clearly in my mind. It was a day when I felt like my heart had been torn out. I had just started my period, and didn't see anything positive in sight.
I was driving up our drive, and I couldn't take any more. There, in my car, like I have many times, I poured my heart out to Jesus. I was so desperate for comfort, and I just begged Him to help me.
Then, a sense of calmness came over me. I knew everything was going to be ok. I knew that He had heard me, and He was there helping me.
Psalms 147:3 He healeth the broken hearted, and bindeth up their wounds.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
God Doesn't Get In Any Hurry!
I can be the first to tell you, God doesn't get into any hurry. I have pleaded with God and I have tried to compromise with Him. IDid He hear me? Yes! Have I gotten pregnant again? No. Will I? Sure.
See, I have learned that this is something that I don't have any control over. God has perfect timing. He doesn't get into any hurry, because He knows when "it" fits into His perfect plan. His perfect plan is just that, perfect. It all fits together for us. God doesn't do anything to hurt us. He knows best.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
See, I have learned that this is something that I don't have any control over. God has perfect timing. He doesn't get into any hurry, because He knows when "it" fits into His perfect plan. His perfect plan is just that, perfect. It all fits together for us. God doesn't do anything to hurt us. He knows best.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Be still!
Well, I have been trying to decide if I should take another round of clomid. I stink at making decisions, and I HATE clomid. The side effects are horrible for me, and I do ovulate on my own. So I thought and prayed about it. And this Bible verse came to me, "Be still and know that I am God." So I have decided to do just that. If i'ts God's will for me to be pregnant, I will be pregnant with or without the clomid.
"But Jesus beheld (them) and said unto them, with men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
"But Jesus beheld (them) and said unto them, with men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
Monday, March 21, 2011
Be Thankful!
I was looking at facebook a few minutes ago and realized that ALL of my friends have babies. I started feeling down in the dumps.. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, and I feel like most of them are great mothers! I started feeling sorry for myself.. "They have their busy lives and schedules that are based around their kids. They have playdates, birthday parties, and chats with other mothers."
But then another thought popped into my head.....something my cousin said. "God answers prayers daily, we just have to give him thanks when he does." That is so true.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am going to be thankful for all the answered prayers in my life. I am thankful that I have had another day to spend with my loved ones, I am glad that I have friends, I am glad God chose to let me have another breath of air, and I am glad that God is my Savior!
We should even be thankful for the unanssered prayers in our lives. God knows what He is doing. He has the perfect plan, and He answers these prayers in His time!
Psalms 118:24 This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.
But then another thought popped into my head.....something my cousin said. "God answers prayers daily, we just have to give him thanks when he does." That is so true.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am going to be thankful for all the answered prayers in my life. I am thankful that I have had another day to spend with my loved ones, I am glad that I have friends, I am glad God chose to let me have another breath of air, and I am glad that God is my Savior!
We should even be thankful for the unanssered prayers in our lives. God knows what He is doing. He has the perfect plan, and He answers these prayers in His time!
Psalms 118:24 This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Trying to Keep The Faith
As humans, sometimes our faith is so strong and other times, it is sooo low. This week has been a mixture of both for me. I KNOW God will answer his prayer for us. He has the perfect plan. But, as I look around, and see so many people that I know having babies, I can't keep from wondering, "Why not me?" The devil really knows how to get to us.
This storm of infertility has made me, at times, feel broken hearted, scared, and sometimes, less of a human being.
However, the Good Lord above has helped me through these emotions. And I wouldn't change a thing (even though I am ready Lord for this to come to an end). :)
I was listening to a pastor on the radio the other day (Dr. Jeremiah I believe) and he said something that has weighed on my heart, "It's through the storms in life that we get to know God better." This is sooo true!
Sad to say, but I had not really read any of the bible until I was faced with this storm. Oh, how I have needed God through this!!!! I know I will always have a comforter in God All Mighty! He will see me through!!!! I have to keep faith!!!!
And by the way, I started my menstrual cycle today, so we will be getting that semen analysis in a couple of weeks. God will provide the lab, the money, and the good results. ;)
Romans 17:20-21: If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain 'move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
This storm of infertility has made me, at times, feel broken hearted, scared, and sometimes, less of a human being.
However, the Good Lord above has helped me through these emotions. And I wouldn't change a thing (even though I am ready Lord for this to come to an end). :)
I was listening to a pastor on the radio the other day (Dr. Jeremiah I believe) and he said something that has weighed on my heart, "It's through the storms in life that we get to know God better." This is sooo true!
Sad to say, but I had not really read any of the bible until I was faced with this storm. Oh, how I have needed God through this!!!! I know I will always have a comforter in God All Mighty! He will see me through!!!! I have to keep faith!!!!
And by the way, I started my menstrual cycle today, so we will be getting that semen analysis in a couple of weeks. God will provide the lab, the money, and the good results. ;)
Romans 17:20-21: If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain 'move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
What Happened After the Miscarriage? (Our Story Continued)
For those of you that want to know what we did after the miscarriage... well, we've been through a lot. But God has gotten us this far!
About 8 months after the miscarriage, I realized there was a problem (in more ways than 1). I prayed about it, and God led me to a local gynecologist group. The NP gave me a few months of clomid, and also ordered a sperm analysis for my husband. The results of the sperm analysis showed that my husband had a very low sperm count (1 million). The NP gave me a number of a male fertility specialist 4 hours from where we live (the closest one). For some reason or another, we chose not pursue this road at that time. Instead, we turned to a female RE, that had helped my friend. She was located about two hours away from where we live. She put me and my husband both on clomid, and did several IUI's, which all failed. She suggested I do a laprascopy. I did, and it turned out ok. I remember the last time she called me. She told me that she was releasing me as a patient, and that we probably needed to think of IVF. Those words were harsh,and the Devil sure knew how to pounce on that. If she couldn't help us, who could? I am not going to lie, I was down, to one of the lowest points in my life. But, I called out to God and I asked for comfort. I soon realized, she didn't have to help us. God is the greatest physician, He would help us! I remember sitting at church one Sunday (I had started my period that morning) and I was an emotional wreck. I was sitting in the seat crying, and I had begged God to help me. My pastor got up to preach, and as he opened up, he started talking about Sarah from the bible, and it was that day, God told me I would have a baby.
After that, we really didn't do much as far as fertility went (except we continued our ovulation predictor kits), and of course I have prayed every single day about it.
Then about 3 months ago, I felt like God wanted us to do something else. I prayed and prayed about it, and I felt like God was leading us to the male fertility specialist that I originally had learned about. Even though, he was 4 hours away, I felt like this is where God wanted us to be. I called his office,and the dr. called me back (which doesn't happen very often). I told him our situation, and about how much money we had been out. My insurance didn't pay for the iuis, only part of the laparoscopy,and then made me back up and pay back for bloodwork,and other procedures because they said it was "fertility" procedures. The dr. agreed to do most of the work over the phone. He mailed us orders to get Chris bloodwork retested. We found out that he had very low testosterone.
We went for the first drs visit in Cincinnati, OH. Dr. Russell was very nice and knowledgable. He agreed that Chris needed clomid, but probably at a higher dose. He ordered 25 mg. a day, a bloodtest to see if it was working 4 weeks after, and another sperm analysis at 10 weeks.
4 weeks later Chris had his bloodwork retestested. His testosterone ad doubled!!! He won't have his semen analysis for two more weeks (pending if I am pregnant).
Did you know that sperm have a 10 week cycle?? What you do today, will effect sperm in 10 weeks (Just thought I would throw that in there).
Over the last (almost) three years, I have become so much closer to God. I am sooooo much more ready now to have a baby than I was three years ago. Yes, I would have made it then, but I think I will have a deeper appreciation for my baby, for my husband, and for My Heavenly Father! I have to keep reminding myself that God will keep his promise and He is always on time!
Romans 17:20-21: He staggered not at the promises of God through unbelief: but was strong in faith, giving glory to God: And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was also able to perform.
About 8 months after the miscarriage, I realized there was a problem (in more ways than 1). I prayed about it, and God led me to a local gynecologist group. The NP gave me a few months of clomid, and also ordered a sperm analysis for my husband. The results of the sperm analysis showed that my husband had a very low sperm count (1 million). The NP gave me a number of a male fertility specialist 4 hours from where we live (the closest one). For some reason or another, we chose not pursue this road at that time. Instead, we turned to a female RE, that had helped my friend. She was located about two hours away from where we live. She put me and my husband both on clomid, and did several IUI's, which all failed. She suggested I do a laprascopy. I did, and it turned out ok. I remember the last time she called me. She told me that she was releasing me as a patient, and that we probably needed to think of IVF. Those words were harsh,and the Devil sure knew how to pounce on that. If she couldn't help us, who could? I am not going to lie, I was down, to one of the lowest points in my life. But, I called out to God and I asked for comfort. I soon realized, she didn't have to help us. God is the greatest physician, He would help us! I remember sitting at church one Sunday (I had started my period that morning) and I was an emotional wreck. I was sitting in the seat crying, and I had begged God to help me. My pastor got up to preach, and as he opened up, he started talking about Sarah from the bible, and it was that day, God told me I would have a baby.
After that, we really didn't do much as far as fertility went (except we continued our ovulation predictor kits), and of course I have prayed every single day about it.
Then about 3 months ago, I felt like God wanted us to do something else. I prayed and prayed about it, and I felt like God was leading us to the male fertility specialist that I originally had learned about. Even though, he was 4 hours away, I felt like this is where God wanted us to be. I called his office,and the dr. called me back (which doesn't happen very often). I told him our situation, and about how much money we had been out. My insurance didn't pay for the iuis, only part of the laparoscopy,and then made me back up and pay back for bloodwork,and other procedures because they said it was "fertility" procedures. The dr. agreed to do most of the work over the phone. He mailed us orders to get Chris bloodwork retested. We found out that he had very low testosterone.
We went for the first drs visit in Cincinnati, OH. Dr. Russell was very nice and knowledgable. He agreed that Chris needed clomid, but probably at a higher dose. He ordered 25 mg. a day, a bloodtest to see if it was working 4 weeks after, and another sperm analysis at 10 weeks.
4 weeks later Chris had his bloodwork retestested. His testosterone ad doubled!!! He won't have his semen analysis for two more weeks (pending if I am pregnant).
Did you know that sperm have a 10 week cycle?? What you do today, will effect sperm in 10 weeks (Just thought I would throw that in there).
Over the last (almost) three years, I have become so much closer to God. I am sooooo much more ready now to have a baby than I was three years ago. Yes, I would have made it then, but I think I will have a deeper appreciation for my baby, for my husband, and for My Heavenly Father! I have to keep reminding myself that God will keep his promise and He is always on time!
Romans 17:20-21: He staggered not at the promises of God through unbelief: but was strong in faith, giving glory to God: And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was also able to perform.
Our Story!
This is my first blog post so please be patient with me. First, I will tell you a little about myself and my situation. When I was 18 I married Chris. Did I need to marry at 18? NO!!! But I am glad I did! Chris is a great husband and I know he will one day make a better daddy.
For the first 9 years of our marriage, I knew we were not at all ready for kids. I had it all planned! At 28, I would have my first (and only) child. Well, 28 came and went, and I actually got pregnant. We had only tried to get pregnant for a few months. It was all a little ironic actually....my sister had called me three weeks earlier to tell me she was pregnant, then two weeks after that, my sister-in-law called to tell me she was pregnant, and then me, I was pregnant too! How great, all three of us at the same time! In my head, I imagined us taking our kids to the park, at Christmas they could all open presents together, and we could have their birthday parties together! These thoughts came to a halt, when I woke up bleeding on November 3rd. I knew I was having a miscarriage. I went to the emergency room, where they confirmed it, only the Dr. put "Spontaneous Abortion." I knew this was another name for miscarriage, but it just sounded so horrible, like I had done something wrong, like I had aborted my baby somehow.
I will never forget that day. I remember seeing Chris drop his head and cry and the sadness on his face. And that was the day I learned to lean on the good Lord and I have been leaning on Him ever since.
It has been almost three years since that day. I haven't gotten pregnant again, but I will. How do I know? Because God promised me, and He keeps EVERY promise that he makes!
For the first 9 years of our marriage, I knew we were not at all ready for kids. I had it all planned! At 28, I would have my first (and only) child. Well, 28 came and went, and I actually got pregnant. We had only tried to get pregnant for a few months. It was all a little ironic actually....my sister had called me three weeks earlier to tell me she was pregnant, then two weeks after that, my sister-in-law called to tell me she was pregnant, and then me, I was pregnant too! How great, all three of us at the same time! In my head, I imagined us taking our kids to the park, at Christmas they could all open presents together, and we could have their birthday parties together! These thoughts came to a halt, when I woke up bleeding on November 3rd. I knew I was having a miscarriage. I went to the emergency room, where they confirmed it, only the Dr. put "Spontaneous Abortion." I knew this was another name for miscarriage, but it just sounded so horrible, like I had done something wrong, like I had aborted my baby somehow.
I will never forget that day. I remember seeing Chris drop his head and cry and the sadness on his face. And that was the day I learned to lean on the good Lord and I have been leaning on Him ever since.
It has been almost three years since that day. I haven't gotten pregnant again, but I will. How do I know? Because God promised me, and He keeps EVERY promise that he makes!
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